My Hiwi the kiwi writing

WALT: write to inform

Success Criteria

• Create a clear image in the readers mind
• Have a clear message (big idea)
• Powerful words (precise, clear)
• Reread writing and check for impact

My thinking questions

I choose this piece to publish because...

I need to practise...

I am pleased about...

My Published Writing

WALT: edit and publish our writing

Success Criteria

• Use a font and colour that can be easily read
• Must make sense
• Correct spelling
• Correct punctuation
• Change at least 3 words to add impact for the reader

When I went fishing my dad got on the boat and he told me to get in the boat so I did.and we took of in to the sea I screamed WE NEED OUR LIFE JACKETS "so we put them on" mine felt funny. I tried using the fishingrod and I whacked my dad on the back.so my dad tought me how to use one and I got a big fish and my dad said yum yum I can't wait to fir this big boy up I said NO. My dad said why I said because I might have baby's.so I thus it back I the water it made a mighty spash my dad started grinning at me then I felt a little sea sick.i got on another fish it was just the right size to eat it.i looked over the side of the boat while we zoomed across the mighty bathtub.i dunked the fish in the salt ice with a damp soggy cloth.the fish looked gross and I think it looked at me.i shiverd with fare
BLUH
I thuw up over the side of the boat yuckie yuck yuck I said in a quite voice.YAY! We are back at the beach I sighed in relief that we were alive so I jumped around and made a sand angle I nearly kissed the sand but then I stopped.Because I was in...PUBLIC!.i rushed to the car and my dad started driving like we we're geting chased by zombies when we got home THEN I kissed the carpet.pretending it was still the sand I had my lunch.and so that fishy adventure was ALL over.
By gaby

Gaby, your writing is sharing the Hiwi the Kiwi message. We need to be safe in the water and wear a life jacket on a boat. You also shared about the need to make sure your fish is the right size. Remember when you are publishing to make sure you check the spelling and punctuation is correct. Remember to make sure you punctuate your speech and tell the reader who is talking to help make the message even clearer, (Also there is always 1 space after a full stop)

Kerri